What Does It Mean To Be An Active Ally?

ally Jan 28, 2025

I've shared before that the word ally is an action word - you can't say you are an ally of the LGBTQ+ community if all you do is communicate it. You have to take actionable steps to show your support for the community.

 

If you are the parent of a transgender child, you already actively ally for the LGBTQ+ community. How? Every time you:

 

1. Use your child's correct pronouns.
2. Love your child unconditionally.
3. Advocate for your child even when they aren't around.

 

Ally is a verb, and the more we show up for the LGBTQ+ community, the stronger we all grow.

 

Sometimes, without realizing it, people look to allies to set an example of how to act and respond when things go sideways. While we may not have all the answers, it comes down to love, kindness, and compassion for all people under all circumstances.

 

Feeling worried, sad, mad, angry, or outraged when the world around us is chaotic is normal. It's okay to want to call your kids, gather them close, or wish they never had to leave your sight.

 

It's okay to feel all those things for a while, but it's not okay to get stuck in those emotions, just like we don't want to get stuck in grief. Once you get stuck in fear and worry, you can spiral into a place you might not escape from.

 

So what can you do instead? Take action.

 

Just like physical action is a way to move grief out of your body, productive action is a way to move fear, worry, and anxiety out of your body (although physical action will move anxiety out of your body as well).

 

Call or write to your representatives and tell them about bills on the floor in your state that they are in support of or against that you support or disagree with. Attend a rally or a vigil. Donate to an organization that supports transgender or LGBTQ+ people directly. Volunteer at an event. Shop at a locally owned and operated store owned by transgender or LGBTQ+ folks. Hug your kid. Hug someone else's kid if yours are not available. Volunteer at your local school, wear a button or pin indicating you are an ally and pay attention to how many kids light up when they see someone on their side. Think about ways you can show up meaningfully for the LGBTQ+ Community.

 

Being an active ally isn't easy. It requires you to push yourself out of your comfort zone and to speak up when you'd rather stay quiet.

 

Remember to focus on the impact on the people's lives you are helping, not on yourself.

 

Ally is an action word, and the more action we can take to invoke change and acceptance, the better the future will be for our kids and our loved ones.

 

 

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