Worthy is a heartbreaking and engaging exploration of what it’s like to unravel everything you’ve ever known about your life: your faith, your church community, your marriage, your mental well-being, and the bravery it takes to build it back up into something that feels authentic.
This powerful memoir takes the reader on a journey with Chris Davis from her childhood growing up in Maine, where we learn about the family she holds close to her heart, to the Mormon roots that would shape her life, until they didn’t.
It is a story of heartache and heartbreak, as well as one of hope and redemption, woven through with Davis’ contagious sense of humor, reflection, and encouragement.
“How much different would it have been for me to grow up in an open and affirming church where lesbians were welcomed and embraced? I would likely have identified my sexual attraction earlier. I might never have married a man and created a family with him, committing fraud against myself, my family, and my church” (p.42).
As a member of the Mormon Church, Davis not only followed the Church’s guidance regarding marriage and children (p.50-58), but additionally, the LDS Church guided every other area of her life and marriage, including her social life and finances (p.88-89). It left Davis dependent on her husband for financial support and on her church community for moral support. It also kept Davis in the closet.
“There was no place for a queer person within the structure of a family, according to LDS church doctrine and policy. The contemporary wisdom in the ‘90s was to get married anyway, and things would work out for the best… Now the church teaches that being gay is not necessarily a sin, but that acting on one’s attraction to the same sex makes the person a sinner” (p.104).
Davis believes that the only way out of her marriage is suicide, so she creates a plan, believing that dying would cure her of being a lesbian (p. 104-105). Then her son comes out to her as transgender, and it changes everything.
Not surprisingly, the LDS Church reacts to Davis’ son being transgender in exactly the way one would expect, and Davis and her son never returned to the church (p. 120-126). Davis goes on to share her struggle with leaving the church, which was her sole support system, as well as the frustration she felt with how they responded to her son.
“Hate and hateful expressions will never cure someone from being gay. Familial and societal disapproval of a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity may curb open manifestations of these feelings, but they only crush the souls of those who truly struggle with acceptance and belonging” (p.126).
The remainder of the book chronicles Davis’ journey to healing, both from her church pain, as well as from the loss of her brother, and other trauma in her life.
“It takes courage to change. It takes support from mentors and friends. It takes fortitude and endurance, but what it gives back in return is precious and dear. Self-respect blossoms, confidence booms, life improves. It gets better. It gets better. It gets better” (p.158).
At 180 pages, Worthy is a book you can easily read in two afternoons, depending on your schedule and reading pace. It includes eight Book Group Discussion Questions at the end, along with a QR Code to connect with Davis. You can find Chris Davis online at ChrisDavisProud.com.
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