Raising Trans Kids: What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting This by Rebecca Minor is a comprehensive book that answers common questions parents or guardians may have after their child comes out as transgender.
Photo courtesy of Simon and Schuster
This is the book I wish I had when my son came out as transgender, as it answers every question I had in those early days, and ones I didn’t think to ask. In her book, Minor covers everything from understanding the difference between gender and identity to moving beyond supporting your child to supporting the broader transgender community. And she does so in a way that makes you feel empowered and understood.
“While this book centers on the unique concerns and experiences of parents, it’s designed to be a valuable resource for anyone in a supportive role. Throughout this book, I will primarily use the word ‘parent’ because they are often the ones most responsible for providing support. However, you don’t need to be a parent to find value in these pages,” (p. IX).
In what is sure to become a lifeline for parents, Minor meets parents where they are and then asks the hard questions they are afraid to voice. You’ll read about topics such as Am I Going To Lose My Child and Isn’t Transition Dangerous and Permanent?
“As parents, it’s natural to experience a wide range of emotions when your child comes out as trans or begins a gender transition. These feelings can be complex, and it’s important to find outlets for them-whether through support groups, therapy, or conversations with trusted individuals-so you can process your emotions in a healthy way,” (p.98).
Raising Trans Kids is a book you’ll find yourself reaching for again and again. Sprinkled throughout each chapter are real-life stories of transgender people and their families, and how they navigated the specific challenges the chapter covers. You’ll find yourself nodding as you see your family's experiences reflected in the pages and find your questions answered in a straightforward, science-backed manner.
“Supporting your child through their transition not only enhances their happiness and well-being in the present but can also positively impact their future,” (p.213)
The book is divided into twenty chapters, each with a question in its title that is answered in its pages. The questions are broken down by topics into five parts. You can read the book cover to cover, or skip to the part you are struggling with or the individual questions you need answered first.
Each chapter ends with a summary of key points and five reflection questions, and there is a glossary of gender and sexuality terms at the back. It also includes 5 Questions to Ask When Choosing A Healthcare Provider For Your Neurodiverse, Gender-Expansive Child and a chart of Gender-Affirming Interventions. At 234 pages, you could easily read Raising Trans Kids in a few days or over a weekend. It would also make an excellent book to work through with a group of other parents of transgender children, using the reflection question for discussion.
Rebecca Minor, MSW, LICSW, is an internationally recognized gender specialist, clinician, and educator, and the founder of Prism Therapy Collective, a group practice offering trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming care. She helps schools, businesses, and organizations foster more inclusive, LGBTQ+ affirming environments.
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