Image is of a person in a blue button up shirt with long hair standing with their eyes closed and an overwhelmed look in their face, with their hands up and resting on the side of their head. No one tells you how hard it's going to be when your child comes out as transgender.

It's Hard When Your Child Comes Out As Transgender

coming out parent support transgender Mar 08, 2023

When your child comes out as transgender, the easy part is to love and support them. No one tells you how hard everything else is going to be.


When our kids come out, there is a lot to learn and new information to take in. We have to learn new terminology and acronyms. If your child plans to transition medically, there are medical procedures to learn, and you may have a new name and pronouns to get used to. It's learning what it means for you to be the parent of a transgender child and what it means for your child to be transgender.


It can all feel overwhelming.


Then, there are the emotions that come with adjusting to a new way of thinking about your child and your family.


You may feel sad, confused, joyful, relieved, anxious, worried, or all of the above. It's normal to feel a wide range of emotions when your child comes out as transgender, and none of those emotions are wrong so long as you are still loving and supporting your child.


As you work through those emotions and adjust to a new family configuration, it can feel impossible to keep moving forward. You may feel stuck and think that it should be easier than it is. Try to avoid falling into this way of thinking.


Let the hard things be hard.


Everything new is hard at the beginning, and you have never been the parent of a transgender child before. This is brand new territory for you. It will be hard until it becomes something you are used to, which takes time. And how much time it takes is different for everyone.


Just because it feels hard doesn't mean that you are behind or that you are failing yourself or your child. No one said this would be easy, and there's no timeline on how long it will take.


It's going to be hard until it's not.


You can't push through it or rush it as much as you don't like sitting in discomfort. Let yourself be uncomfortable. Sit with your emotions, whatever they are. Let yourself be overwhelmed. Eventually, it will get easier.


As long as you continue to move forward, even if it is one day at a time, that is what matters.



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