I saw butterflies everywhere the summer after my youngest child came out as transgender. In my yard. Driving to and from work. In the parking lot at Target. Every time I was outside, there were butterflies around. At first, I thought we were having a bumper crop of butterflies that summer. Then, I started to… Continue reading Becoming a Butterfly: A Transition Story
When your child isn’t ready to come out to others, it can create tension in your family. As a parent, it’s important to remember that your child’s coming out isn’t a one-time event. It’s a journey that can happen multiple times, as a child comes out first to themselves, then to loved ones, and then… Continue reading When Your Child Isn’t Ready to Come Out
You left –In the middle of the night while I was sleeping.Before I had a chance to realize you were gone,or to say goodbye, or to tell you to be careful,as I had a thousand times before –or, that I loved you. I loved you –From the time I first heard your heart beat;when I… Continue reading Goodbye, Or Is It Hello? A Poem.
One of the first things I did as a newly pregnant mama was to think about the names I wanted to consider for my baby. I was pacing back and forth in the bathroom of my parent’s condo, waiting to see if the First Response test would show one line or two. When you are… Continue reading When You Struggle With Your Child’s Name
For example, I might say, “I’m grieving the hopes and dreams I had of having a daughter.” Or, “I’m grieving the fact that I had expectations, and they’ve changed.” This way, I own my feelings and experience them. I still support my child by not saying, “I’m grieving the loss of my daughter.”
It was March of 2016, and I was at our town’s community center to vote. A woman I had known since I had moved to town was checking me in. As usual, she was asking how my children were. Our children grew up together. Her oldest son was in the same grade as my oldest,… Continue reading How to Respond When Others Ask About Your Child
Our son came out as transgender in a Facebook announcement. In it, he told the world that he wished for us to use the name he had chosen, and the male pronouns he, his, and him. After nineteen-and-a-half years of using she, her, and hers, switching to new pronouns when speaking about my son proved… Continue reading Using Proper Gender Pronouns
Six months after my youngest son came out as transgender, my Grampa passed away. This came during a time when my heart was already raw. I was still navigating the turbulent waters of loss and grief, as I came to accept life without the presence of a daughter in it. There were days when I… Continue reading Using Your Child’s Chosen Name
When my son Leo first came out as transgender, I thought his transition was just about him. I would soon learn that a child’s transition impacts the entire family in one way or another.