It wasn’t until I became the parent of a transgender child, and had to do the hard work of letting go of the expectations I held of who I thought they were, and what I thought their life would be like, that I realized I had expectations for them to begin with. It was an… Continue reading Letting Go of Who I Thought My Child Was
Recently, I participated in a workshop about sharing hard stories. I regularly write and share about when my youngest came out as transgender, so I thought it would be more of a learning experience than anything else. I mentioned that I wrote about being the parent of a transgender child, and learned that the focus… Continue reading Sharing Childhood Stories of Your Transgender Child
One of the first things I did as a newly pregnant mama was to think about the names I wanted to consider for my baby. I was pacing back and forth in the bathroom of my parent’s condo, waiting to see if the First Response test would show one line or two. When you are… Continue reading When You Struggle With Your Child’s Name
The day I learned my son was transgender, I felt unprepared to respond to the information I had been given. That morning, I spent a long time staring out the windows of our downstairs. I had an endless loop of questions running through my mind, but no answers. What does this mean? Did other people… Continue reading What I Wish Others Knew When My Son Came Out
When my son first came out as being transgender, there were a lot of things I didn’t know. What a binder was. How to administer testosterone. All the letters in LGBTQIA+. That transvestite is an out of date term, and many people in the LGBTQ+ community consider it offensive. In those first days, weeks, and… Continue reading What I Wish I Knew When My Son Came Out As Transgender
When people learn you have a transgender child, their reactions vary from shock, to support, to not having the first idea of what to say. All of these are normal. Sometimes, however, well-meaning people respond in ways that are harmful to both the parent and the child. This is especially true of people in a… Continue reading When It’s Time to Find a New Faith Community
As I’ve become a more grown-up adult – as opposed to the time in my life when I was called an adult but felt like an imposter – I’ve realized that a big part of the holidays involves managing expectations. Your own. Your family’s. And other people’s. You essentially become an event planner/social director/professional shopper/caterer/customer… Continue reading Managing Expectations During the Holidays
As we approach the holiday season, there is increasing pressure to attend social events. These can be with family, friends, co-workers, or other acquaintances. Often, it requires getting together with people you don’t see very often. If you are the parent of a transgender child, this can also mean people who haven’t seen your child… Continue reading Setting Boundaries During the Holidays
In the LGBTQ+ community, we recently observed Trans Parent day, which takes place on the first Sunday in November. According to TransParent.org, which operates a public group on Facebook, this is a day that “celebrates life and the love between Transgender parents and their children. And parents and their Transgender children.” Not either/or, both/and. However,… Continue reading I’m Not a Trans Parent: Admitting When You Are Wrong
When your child comes out as transgender, you will find yourself having to make a choice about the unsupportive people in your life. Keep them or walk away.
