When my son Leo first came out as transgender, one of the things I didn’t know that I needed was permission to grieve the child I thought I had. I was trying to model for others how to talk to and about Leo. How to use his new name and pronouns properly. How to talk… Continue reading When You Don’t Know Where To Go To Grieve
The day I learned my son was transgender, I felt unprepared to respond to the information I had been given. That morning, I spent a long time staring out the windows of our downstairs. I had an endless loop of questions running through my mind, but no answers. What does this mean? Did other people… Continue reading What I Wish Others Knew When My Son Came Out
When my son first came out as being transgender, there were a lot of things I didn’t know. What a binder was. How to administer testosterone. All the letters in LGBTQIA+. That transvestite is an out of date term, and many people in the LGBTQ+ community consider it offensive. In those first days, weeks, and… Continue reading What I Wish I Knew When My Son Came Out As Transgender
When your child comes out as transgender, you will find yourself having to make a choice about the unsupportive people in your life. Keep them or walk away.
For example, I might say, “I’m grieving the hopes and dreams I had of having a daughter.” Or, “I’m grieving the fact that I had expectations, and they’ve changed.” This way, I own my feelings and experience them. I still support my child by not saying, “I’m grieving the loss of my daughter.”
Just this week I was checking out a resource that a well-meaning person passed on to me. It’s a non-profit whose mission is to provide support for parents of, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Perfect, right? How thoughtful for this person to think of me when they met one of the people who founded… Continue reading Inanimate Objects Are Broken, Not People