We moved into our house Labor Day weekend, 2001. We were nearing our 30s, and our kids were 6.5 and newly 4. My mom lived in MD, and my dad traveled between MA and VA. On all sides, the rest of our family lived an hour an a half in any direction. We had no… Continue reading When Other’s Stand in the Gap For Your Child
When your child comes out as transgender, they begin a transition to the person they have always been. In some ways, your family begins a transition too. As a parent, however, you are still the same person. Nothing about you changed the day your child came out. For sure, you have a lot of emotions… Continue reading When You Struggle to Relate to Other Parents
When my son Leo came out as transgender, I was blindsided by his news. Because I didn’t know that he had been hiding his true gender since middle school, I felt it came out of nowhere. I went to bed thinking I had a daughter, and the next day I woke up and had a… Continue reading Let Go Of the Guilt
When my son Leo came out as transgender, I spent hours trying to learn everything about what that meant. I wanted to know all the terms and acronyms, so I didn’t mess up when I spoke to him about it. I tried to learn all the different types of transitions to understand what his next… Continue reading You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out
For the second year in a row, the most-read post on this website is “You Can Grieve and Support Your Child.” This year, it has almost 4,000 views. When I wrote it in the fall of 2019, it was in response to a New York Times article that said parents who grieve after their child… Continue reading Support for Ourselves So We Can Support Our Child
October 11 is National Coming Out Day, and many LGBTQ+ folks use this opportunity as a chance to come out to the people they love. When my son Leo came out as transgender, it was through a Facebook post that I read shortly after waking on a Saturday morning. I was so overwhelmed by all… Continue reading Your Child Just Came Out. Now What?
When my son Leo was in middle school, he was diagnosed with food allergies. As a teenager with new allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and soy, this automatically labeled him “other.” He became “that kid,” the reason students in his classes couldn’t eat lunch during academic periods or bring contraband snacks or treats to celebrate… Continue reading Do We Tell Our Child’s Teacher They Are Transgender?
When your child isn’t ready to come out to others, it can create tension in your family. As a parent, it’s important to remember that your child’s coming out isn’t a one-time event. It’s a journey that can happen multiple times, as a child comes out first to themselves, then to loved ones, and then… Continue reading When Your Child Isn’t Ready to Come Out
I cried for most of the cold, January day when my son Leo came out as transgender. I didn’t know what I was crying about, exactly. At that time, I didn’t what it meant for Leo to be transgender. It was a word I barely understood and would have to look up to even comprehend… Continue reading You Shouldn’t Grieve in Front of Your Child
Several times a year, I ask my readers what their biggest struggle is with understanding or supporting transgender people. Then I open the conversation up to any other questions they might have. One reader recently asked if it was possible to tell if our children are gay (or lesbian or bisexual or transgender) before they… Continue reading Can You Tell Your Child is Gay Before They Come Out?