Self Care

Summer Break

The view of Mt. Monadnock from Stone Pone in Marlborough, NH

Even though the old posts are gone now, I started this blog back in 2017, and every year I’ve promised myself I would take one month off in the summer from writing. A summer break to refresh and recharge.

Even though the blog as been quiet for part of this year (who knew a pandemic would hit, and I have been an essential working showing up every day to my job), I decided that this year especially, I need that break. Working in the middle of the craziness that has been this year, and dealing with increased anxiety, has tapped my creative energy. I’m hoping this break will not only be good for my soul and my mental health, but it will kick start my writing again.

I plan to take the entire month of July off, so if you arrive here during that time, you’ll find this post as the most recent. While you are here, here are some things you might want to check out.

Blog Posts

What to do About Unsupportive People. When your child comes out, you might find that not everyone in your life is supportive. This post might help you work through that.

How to Respond When Others Ask About Your Child. If your child has recently come out, or you are going to be seeing people you haven’t seen since that time, it can be hard to know how to respond to “How is …?”. I wrote an entire post about how to deal with that question.

If your child or someone you know has recently come out, these posts might help you with some of the earliest obstacles: Using Proper Gender Pronouns and Using Your Child’s Chosen Name.

Grief is a natural feeling to experience when you first learn your child or someone you love is transgender (grief is the result of something ending; it is not just tied to death). These two posts might help with how you are feeling. You can Grieve and Support Your child and When Your Child Transitions it Impacts the Whole Family.

Other Resources by Me

In 2017 I got on a stage in my local community and shared part of my story for the very first time. I only had 10-ish minutes. So I briefly talked about what it means to be transgender, what I had learned in the last year, and then I shared a poem I wrote. It was a goodbye to the daughter I thought I had, and a hello to the son I did. Behind me, on the screen, as I read that poem, a visual story told the story of my son’s life. Photos from the time he was born and presenting as a female, as I read my goodbye, and then new pictures of him in college, as I read my hello.

It was the first time I had talked about my story out loud with anyone other than a few personal friends and my therapist. There was something to healing about saying the words out loud. You may not be there yet, but know that the day will come when you can begin to share your story. If you want to watch my talk, you can watch it here.

This spring, I sat down with the lovely ladies at the Rainy Day Collective Podcast. I shared what it is like to be the mother of a transgender child. The episode is about 50 minutes long, and you can check that out here. It’s also on Spotify here.

Support for You

If you are looking for support, here are some excellent resources for you to check out.

GLAAD has a fabulous resource page. It lists a variety of publications that you can download on a host of LGBTQ topics.

The Trevor Project also has a great resource page, including this Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Nonbinary Youth.

The Human Rights Campaign is a great place to go to find out about issues in your local area.

If you need legal support, check out Lambda Legal. This page on their website lists a variety of resources for parents of transgender children.

St. Francis Chapel at Stone Pond, as seen from my kayak, Marlborough, NH

Enjoy your July. Stay safe. Check in on and keep in touch with your people. I’ll see you in August.

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