Some people eat when they are stressed. Others turn to coffee, alcohol, or cigarettes. Some people choose to ignore their stress in the hopes that it will all go away. While I have been guilty of all these things in one form or another, my go-to solution for dealing with stress is cleaning and organization.
There is something therapeutic about sorting, organizing, and scrubbing. Bringing order to my physical surroundings offers me a measure of control when it feels like everything else in my life is falling apart at the seams.
When I started this blog last year, I sat with it for five months while I decided what the topic of conversation was going to be about. For five months I paid the hosting fee for a blog that didn’t exist, while I struggled with who my reader was. You see, two significant things happened in my life during 2016:
- My Grampa passed away. I very briefly wrote about that here.
- My youngest child came out as being transgender.
Not in that order.
I wrote them in that order, because out of the two, my Grampa’s passing away was the low point of my year. Losing him devastated me in a way I was unprepared for, during a year that was already hard.
Having a transgender son is not devastating, even though that first year was hard and full of adjustments. I learned this news right as I was getting ready to launch my blog, and it threw me for a loop. Should I write about this? Would people want to hear about the journey of a middle-age mom who finds herself in the middle of a life-changing situation? For five months I sat with this idea, and in the end I decided that the time wasn’t right. It didn’t feel like my story to tell then, and I I felt too emotional about the whole thing.
Instead, I decided to write about organization. Not only was it a topic I knew very well, it was a method I was using to get through this challenging time in my life, grieving the loss of my daughter and adjusting to having another son. I started writing about self-care because I realized quickly that was something lacking in my own life, and I felt I was probably not alone in that area. And I write about bullet journaling because that is the tool I use to manage both of these topics.
What I wasn’t writing about was the upheaval going on in my life behind the scenes. Looking back, I think I made the best choice I could have at the time, but I think there are people who could have benefited from hearing about those struggles and challenges. In fact, I’m sure there still are.
So going forward I’m going to start sharing, broadly, about this journey on the blog. It’s not going to become the main focus. But it will become a category, like self-care and bullet journaling are. Something I write about sometimes, when the mood strikes and the story feels like it needs to be told.
A lot of the information I found online last year was geared towards parents of young children who were exploring their gender. There was very little for parents of teens or young adults, especially those who were caught completely off guard. One of my long term projects is to eventually write a book (there, I admitted it out loud and in public) so that other parents who find themselves in a similar situation as me have an idea of what to expect. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Feel free to ask questions, if you have any. Don’t worry that they feel too personal or invasive. I had a lot of questions at the start and I didn’t know where to go to ask them. If I don’t have the answers to the specific questions you ask, I can point you to somewhere that you can find them. If you feel more comfortable asking them in private, if you hover over the “About” link at the top of the page, it has a “Contact” link underneath it. I promise I’ll read and reply to each one.
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