October 11 is National Coming Out Day, and many LGBTQ+ folks use this opportunity as a chance to come out to the people they love. When my son Leo came out as transgender, it was through a Facebook post that I read shortly after waking on a Saturday morning. I was so overwhelmed by all… Continue reading Your Child Just Came Out. Now What?
When my oldest child Ember first came out as gay in high school (they are bisexual), I was still a member of the Catholic Church. At the time, I was starting to question where the church stood on issues such as women in leadership roles, support for LGBTQ and divorced members, as well as several… Continue reading You Are Allowed to Change Your Mind
During the first year after my son Leo came out as transgender, I told my therapist I had never been more lonely in my life. During crises and tragedies, people often close ranks around one another. They offer support and comfort. When a child comes out as transgender, however, it’s different. No one knows what… Continue reading Being the Parent of a Transgender Child is Lonely
The second worst day of my life was the day I found out my oldest child was suicidal. The next day, we sat in a therapist’s office and discussed the next steps and how to keep our child safe. And none of it felt like enough. Eleven years later, it still doesn’t feel like enough.… Continue reading Creating an Emergency Action Plan for Your Child
No one tells you when your child comes out as transgender that you are going to be lonely. That suddenly, people will ask how your child is doing, but they’ll stop asking how you are doing. That you won’t have anyone to ask your hard questions to. Or that you won’t know anyone who understands… Continue reading How Do We Support Each Other?
I saw butterflies everywhere the summer after my youngest child came out as transgender. In my yard. Driving to and from work. In the parking lot at Target. Every time I was outside, there were butterflies around. At first, I thought we were having a bumper crop of butterflies that summer. Then, I started to… Continue reading Becoming a Butterfly: A Transition Story
The Transgender Teen: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens is a comprehensive guide written to help parents understand what it means for their child to be transgender or gender-nonconforming and how best to support them. This book, written by two professionals in their field, is a must-have for parents of… Continue reading Review: The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney
When your child isn’t ready to come out to others, it can create tension in your family. As a parent, it’s important to remember that your child’s coming out isn’t a one-time event. It’s a journey that can happen multiple times, as a child comes out first to themselves, then to loved ones, and then… Continue reading When Your Child Isn’t Ready to Come Out
I cried for most of the cold, January day when my son Leo came out as transgender. I didn’t know what I was crying about, exactly. At that time, I didn’t what it meant for Leo to be transgender. It was a word I barely understood and would have to look up to even comprehend… Continue reading You Shouldn’t Grieve in Front of Your Child
Around the time of the first anniversary of Leo’s coming out as transgender, I sat in my therapist’s office. I had just seen her a few weeks earlier, before Christmas. She knew, however, I was going to need extra support as that day drew near. So she scheduled me to come in. As I stared… Continue reading There’s No Timeline on Your Emotions