It’s the holiday season. If you are like me, you have personalized ornaments and stockings in your storage bins waiting to be hung up. But, what do you do with personalized items when your child comes out as transgender? How do you navigate the holiday season when there are so many decisions to make? What… Continue reading What to Do With Personalized Items
As parents, we all have a collection of items from when our children were babies through their childhood. Maybe you have a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. Perhaps some baby outfits or the first pair of shoes. There might be art projects and school awards. Then, when our children are grown, we have something to… Continue reading Creating a Memory Box
The year Leo told us he was transgender, I skipped gathering with our extended family for the holidays. It wasn’t that I was trying to avoid them; I was overcome by grief. My Grampa died that year, and it compounded the grief I felt around losing the idea of having a daughter. I didn’t have… Continue reading Make Space for Grief This Holiday Season
October 20 is International Pronouns Day. It’s a day to commit to learning about and sharing your pronouns. Before my son Leo came out as transgender, I never gave a single thought to my own or anyone else’s pronouns. It never occurred to me that people would have pronouns that didn’t match the gender they… Continue reading Sharing Your Pronouns is an Invitation
October 11 is National Coming Out Day, and many LGBTQ+ folks use this opportunity as a chance to come out to the people they love. When my son Leo came out as transgender, it was through a Facebook post that I read shortly after waking on a Saturday morning. I was so overwhelmed by all… Continue reading Your Child Just Came Out. Now What?
When my oldest child Ember first came out as gay in high school (they are bisexual), I was still a member of the Catholic Church. At the time, I was starting to question where the church stood on issues such as women in leadership roles, support for LGBTQ and divorced members, as well as several… Continue reading You Are Allowed to Change Your Mind
During the first year after my son Leo came out as transgender, I told my therapist I had never been more lonely in my life. During crises and tragedies, people often close ranks around one another. They offer support and comfort. When a child comes out as transgender, however, it’s different. No one knows what… Continue reading Being the Parent of a Transgender Child is Lonely
The second worst day of my life was the day I found out my oldest child was suicidal. The next day, we sat in a therapist’s office and discussed the next steps and how to keep our child safe. And none of it felt like enough. Eleven years later, it still doesn’t feel like enough.… Continue reading Creating an Emergency Action Plan for Your Child
No one tells you when your child comes out as transgender that you are going to be lonely. That suddenly, people will ask how your child is doing, but they’ll stop asking how you are doing. That you won’t have anyone to ask your hard questions to. Or that you won’t know anyone who understands… Continue reading How Do We Support Each Other?
I saw butterflies everywhere the summer after my youngest child came out as transgender. In my yard. Driving to and from work. In the parking lot at Target. Every time I was outside, there were butterflies around. At first, I thought we were having a bumper crop of butterflies that summer. Then, I started to… Continue reading Becoming a Butterfly: A Transition Story