During the first year after my son Leo came out as transgender, I told my therapist I had never been more lonely in my life. During crises and tragedies, people often close ranks around one another. They offer support and comfort. When a child comes out as transgender, however, it’s different. No one knows what… Continue reading Being the Parent of a Transgender Child is Lonely
The second worst day of my life was the day I found out my oldest child was suicidal. The next day, we sat in a therapist’s office and discussed the next steps and how to keep our child safe. And none of it felt like enough. Eleven years later, it still doesn’t feel like enough.… Continue reading Creating an Emergency Action Plan for Your Child
When my son Leo was in middle school, he was diagnosed with food allergies. As a teenager with new allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and soy, this automatically labeled him “other.” He became “that kid,” the reason students in his classes couldn’t eat lunch during academic periods or bring contraband snacks or treats to celebrate… Continue reading Do We Tell Our Child’s Teacher They Are Transgender?
No one tells you when your child comes out as transgender that you are going to be lonely. That suddenly, people will ask how your child is doing, but they’ll stop asking how you are doing. That you won’t have anyone to ask your hard questions to. Or that you won’t know anyone who understands… Continue reading How Do We Support Each Other?
I saw butterflies everywhere the summer after my youngest child came out as transgender. In my yard. Driving to and from work. In the parking lot at Target. Every time I was outside, there were butterflies around. At first, I thought we were having a bumper crop of butterflies that summer. Then, I started to… Continue reading Becoming a Butterfly: A Transition Story
The Transgender Teen: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens is a comprehensive guide written to help parents understand what it means for their child to be transgender or gender-nonconforming and how best to support them. This book, written by two professionals in their field, is a must-have for parents of… Continue reading Review: The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney
When your child isn’t ready to come out to others, it can create tension in your family. As a parent, it’s important to remember that your child’s coming out isn’t a one-time event. It’s a journey that can happen multiple times, as a child comes out first to themselves, then to loved ones, and then… Continue reading When Your Child Isn’t Ready to Come Out
I cried for most of the cold, January day when my son Leo came out as transgender. I didn’t know what I was crying about, exactly. At that time, I didn’t what it meant for Leo to be transgender. It was a word I barely understood and would have to look up to even comprehend… Continue reading You Shouldn’t Grieve in Front of Your Child
Around the time of the first anniversary of Leo’s coming out as transgender, I sat in my therapist’s office. I had just seen her a few weeks earlier, before Christmas. She knew, however, I was going to need extra support as that day drew near. So she scheduled me to come in. As I stared… Continue reading There’s No Timeline on Your Emotions
You left –In the middle of the night while I was sleeping.Before I had a chance to realize you were gone,or to say goodbye, or to tell you to be careful,as I had a thousand times before –or, that I loved you. I loved you –From the time I first heard your heart beat;when I… Continue reading Goodbye, Or Is It Hello? A Poem.